After almost 4 years of infertility we were blessed to get pregnant via IVF with our boy Tate in October of 2022 after a previous failed transfer. We were so excited to be parents. That excitement was short lived, when on December 28th after celebrating Christmas with our families and imaging what next Christmas would look like my water broke at 14 weeks 2 days. I went to the Emergency Room to confirm what I already knew. We were told to go home and rest and wait for my body to go into labor. What we thought would be the end of my pregnancy turned into 14 more weeks of waiting. Tate showed us just how strong he was and that he wanted to make it earth side to meet us. We were given every worst case scenario for what could happen to both myself and Tate if we continued with the pregnancy and we decided that as long as I stayed healthy and Tate kept fighting so would we. I went to weekly doctors appointment and ultrasounds from week 15 to 23 thinking every time could be the last time I would hear his heart beat, but he just kept fighting and proving us wrong. At 24 weeks I was admitted to the High Risk unit at the hospital to be monitored until birth. I went in knowing it could have been 10 weeks in the hospital if all things went as planned. Tate had other plans. On April 1st, 2023 at 28 weeks 5 days Tate decided his daddy's birthday was the time to make his arrival. He came into the world fast and furious and I know he would have lived his life the same way. We got 5 hours with him before his underdeveloped lungs could no longer keep up with his body. We tried for years to get Tate and we are still trying for his sibling. I know he would have been the best big brother and I can't wait until the day we get to tell his siblings all about him.

When I first discovered I was pregnant with Alivia, my emotions were a whirlwind. My husband, Nathan, and I had only been married for three months, and this pregnancy wasn’t part of our immediate plan. Yet, hearing our baby’s heartbeat for the first time changed everything. We dove headfirst into preparations, dreaming about our future as parents and falling in love with our little girl.My pregnancy had its ups and downs, including a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. But the anticipation of meeting Alivia kept me going. I often found myself sitting in the glider chair, envisioning the day I would hold her close, rocking her to sleep and soaking in every moment of motherhood.On July 23, 2008, after a long night of labor, I finally held Alivia in my arms. But instead of hearing her cry, I was met with silence. Alivia was born with a faint heartbeat but struggled to breathe. In the whirlwind of emotions that followed, we learned that our sweet girl had experienced significant brain damage and was unlikely to survive. She lived for just 34 hours, but those moments were filled with profound love, tenderness, and heartache.Losing Alivia was the most devastating experience of my life. In the aftermath, I found myself searching for ways to navigate my grief. I wanted to honor her memory and connect with others who had experienced similar losses. This longing to share and support led me to create the Healing Hearts Podcast.Through this platform, I aim to share stories of love, loss, and hope, offering a space for healing and connection. Alivia's story is just the beginning of many shared experiences, reminding us all that even in our darkest moments, we are not alone.

Born with a Congenital Heart defect that was not detected at birth.

Brianne was feeling under the weather with what we thought was a cold. After weeks of no relief and the doctor not taking her seriously, she passed out on the couch. She kind of came to struggling to breathe and then never came back to us. The autopsy came back as a large pulmonary embolism. She died at the age of 22, if only doctors would have listened and ran a few more tests, maybe she would be here. This November will be 10 years without her.

On Christmas of 2022, Lydia, our 21-month-old and only child at the time, died unexpectedly in her sleep. We later found out from the autopsy that she had a rare and undetectable congenital defect. Lydia was the most empathetic little toddler I have ever met. She loved our cats, watching Finding Nemo and Toy Story, playing with her dolls and toy kitchen, and going to the park.

We were scheduled for a c-section on 8/08/2024 at 12PM. We arrived to the hospital at 10AM, and during preparation for the surgery, it was discovered Elias no longer had a heartbeat. What was supposed to be a joyous day welcoming my second boy into this world, because the cruelest & most traumatic day of our lives. Our last sono appointment had been the previous week on 7/29/2024, and Elias was fine. The only thing we were told was that he was measuring and weighing two weeks ahead of schedule, but with the c section being a week out, there were no concerns. We were fine all pregnancy, Elias Amir weighed 9lb 6oz and was absolutely perfect, I am broken. But I will do my best each day to keep going for him and his big brother Abel who has been our beacon of light in this tragedy. To my sweet Elias, you are so loved and remember my beautiful baby boy. Mommy is sorry we couldn’t keep you here with us. My soul will find you Elias when it’s my time, and I will patiently wait for that day sweet boy of mine.

Our little Eleanor was born prematurely, at 28 weeks, due to severe preeclampsia. Because of the severity of the preeclampsia and birth trauma, she endured life-saving measures from the first breath of life. She spent 4 months in the NICU. When she arrived home, she began having seizure and infantile spasms, a very dangerous type of seizure that can cause brain injury. Unfortunately, she continued fighting with her severe epilepsy and many other medical complications. One week before her first birthday, she passed away from an infection she acquired in the brain due to a surgery 2.5 weeks prior. In her 11.75 months of life, she endured 8 grueling surgeries. The 8th was too much and she acquired the infection. The 9th was to remove the infected shunt in her head, but due to the infection being to advanced, she gained her heavenly pass to see Our Father. We always say, we’re lucky to have a daughter here on Earth, and another in heaven watching over us.

After fighting infertility and other medical issues, we finally found ourselves pregnant in early summer of 2018. Our joy was short lived, however, as my water broke (PPROM) just a few days shy of 22 weeks pregnant. We made it a few days beyond doctors expectations, but unfortunately our son, Theodore “Teddy” Russell Michalski, passed away during labor, and was born sleeping on October 6th, 2018 at 11:58 PM. He had the most beautiful tiny toes, and sweet little nose. He weighed 15 ounces, and was 11 inches long.Teddy has since sent us two siblings, Nathan and Delilah, and we are doing our best to make sure he is a part of their lives. That they know their sibling in the stars. We started our nonprofit, A Touch of Teddy, in his honor, and we support other baby loss families by providing free Teddy Bear ornaments during the month of October.

“The God of all grace now holds what this mother's womb once did.”